"How dare you insult my veins!"

"Haven't I earned the right to sneeze on my own clothes?"

"After I'm married my wife will cut my hair forever, and we will save money."

"I will not set fire to this bridge!"

"Harpsichord solo!"

"Mount Unpleasant... hehe."

"Come on, this vehicle's full of mosquitoes."

"That's pretty florid."

"You're overly sensitive to slights from people you don't know. I'm overly sensitive to slights from people I do know. We cancel each other out, dysfunctionally speaking."

"But that banana's been sitting on my jacket all day."

"I just give the people the information. After that it's up to the people to whom I've given the information as to whether or not they choose to decide to find the wisdom to work out whether they... what?"

"If you get the explanations before you get the revelations, the revelations aren't actually revelations anymore."

"I could be a goth if we removed my sense of irony."

"Yes, your bum looks big in that dress. And in every other dress. You are fat."

"You got a real tender face. Kinda squishy."